L.💓.V.E.

I looked up the word in the dictionary, and I read all the numerous words that tried to sufficiently define this phenomenon. It's a noun, a verb, an adjective, and it's even used in countless phrases! Moreover, it might as well be a living thing; I mean it breathes all of us, it grows and reproduces itself into the beautiful aspects of life itself."An intense feeling of deep affection"- what whoever dared to define it claims it is, and that's what appears as the first of many explanations of it in the dictionary. 

 It is not a single thing, but a complex of combinations that render it unfathomable. Curiosity is a crucial part of this combination that may also be the starting point of it. We want to grasp it and really know what it is, why it's there, why it makes us do the things we do for the sake of it, and how in the world is it capable of transforming and conforming us. So what do curious breathers do when they get intrigued by something? Well, they impulsively start experimenting with it. 

Furthermore, experiments always yield different results due to errors and accuracies. Some enjoy the experimenting part and that's all they end up doing; others, think they've found the purpose and scope of its existence and revel in it. And there's the outcasts that find results that aren't sufficient enough, and so they experiment time and time again with new species, new methods, and newer equipment.

Love. It can sweep you up with naivety and slap you with common sense. Love is ever changing. It's never constant.

It starts out with a desperate desire. A time of euphoria. And a wisdom learned. And maybe that's why Shakespeare wrote the love story of Romeo and Juliet as a tale of tragedy. Maybe love is described as one of Taylor Swift's songs: Sad. Beautiful. Tragic. 

But that's the humanly love I was talking about; whether it was shared between lovers, family, friends, a pet owner and an adorable domestic animal, or strangers, and the love of materialistic things among other things! However, there's a special kind of love any creature of the Creator is capable of feeling- the mutual bond between Allah and one's self. The most beautiful, the most enchanting, a humbling, and a purely genuine kind of force! And one would only pray to revel in it eternally  And this is what's mentioned in the Quran about the love for Allah  

2:165) And [yet], among the people are those who take other than Allah as equals [to Him]. They love them as they [should] love Allah. But those who believe are stronger in love for Allah. And if only they who have wronged would consider [that] when they see the punishment, [they will be certain] that all power belongs to Allah and that Allah is severe in punishment.

القران الكريم |وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَنْ يَتَّخِذُ مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ أَنْدَادًا يُحِبُّونَهُمْ كَحُبِّ اللَّهِ ۖ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَشَدُّ حُبًّا لِلَّهِ ۗ وَلَوْ يَرَى الَّذِينَ ظَلَمُوا إِذْ يَرَوْنَ الْعَذَابَ أَنَّ الْقُوَّةَ لِلَّهِ جَمِيعًا وَأَنَّ اللَّهَ شَدِيدُ الْعَذَابِ|. 

A Cliche Poem

                      

Life is good when you want it to be.
Smile, laugh ever so joyfully.
Have a lot of faith to fall back on.
Pray at night, in the evening,& at dawn!
Pour your heart out to your lord,
Because a prayer is mightier than a sword.
Watch your life unfold.
Tell what's untold.
Life is good but it can be unfair.
So don't get caught up and dare
To be a soul that's happy and loving.
So go ahead, dance, laugh and sing
Your heart out !!!
And get rid of every doubt.
Rely on God and it'll be OK.
There's something good in every day!

#LOVE_STORY

I daydream about a "love story" and who's the person I'm bound to fall head over heels for. And I put these crazy standards and images in mind as to how he should talk & walk, how he should dress and laugh, and how he should treat me. Sometimes, I even daydream about his very enticing accent! And that's what us humans do to ensure a tranquility at the moments of the unknown. We imagine and plan. And you know what they say, " We plan and plan and Allah's the best of planners." I mean, after all, he is the one who wrote our story and is in control of it. But he forgives us for being so impulsive and so eager to know what the future holds in store for us. Therefore, he surprises us with the most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time, in the most unexpected place! That's love. It hits the heart without a warning. And that's what's enchanting about it- the element of surprise. You see, love erases all that we planned and it replaces it with an impeccable reality, which could be a conundrum to the limited understanding of the human brain. Which makes the neurons strenuously trying to make sense of it all. But, it doesn't have to make sense. It shouldn't make sense.

 True love doesn't care about the standards and expectations you rendered over the years. True love doesn't care about the "perfect imperfections!" Truelove only cares about the now. It is what gets your adrenaline rushing in your bloodstream. And love loves  how it makes your heart pound like it never did before; a special palpitation. 

~~~ An excerpt from a novel I wish I wrote ~~~~~

Extra Time

Sometimes, it just feels like there isn't enough time for the countless books I want to read, the movies I wanna watch, and the songs I wanna sing along and dance to. Sometimes 24 hours just isn't enough. #WishfulThinking

Time

Most would consider it hypothetical, but is it so? 

Time is a valuable, very real aspect one would only grasp at its understanding when it has drifted away from a grip on it.  

Time, measured in numerous units of hours,minutes, seconds, and even milliseconds, is capable of  controlling our minds; thinking of what it showed us in the past, what it has presented at this current  present, and what will it reveal in the not so promised, unknown future.. 

This magical and simultaneous  illusional reality is capable of transforming our inner selves into complete dichotomies 

 With its power of proving right from wrong and cleaving truth from lies, it controls us at every interval of itself. 

It is what determines our fates and destinies. It is what brings about coincidences -although I don't believe in such a faithless thing! It is eternally bound to our restless souls.. 

Love & Possession

The proverb, "If you love something, let it go" just wouldn't process in my brain. I thought about it over and over again over the years!Yet, I always find myself asking the same old question: wouldn't a person want someone to be their own if they truly loved them? Wouldn't a normal,loving person only desire the presence of those loved?

 Love and possession of the loved are coupled desires. Maybe, that's where the engagement ring tradition originated from! It ( the ring) gives the reassurance that your loved one is yours, which is sometimes a desperate intuitional need...

True LOVE

What really is the meaning of true love?? Is it even existent?  

I've been wondering if such a thing could exist between a couple who have never ever talked to each other. Not with real words at least: just with mere eye contacts that linger around after they've passed by each other and got lost in the crowd!

Is there a bond that has the capability to unite two souls by a magical thread of sheer luck. Fate? 

Is there this supernatural instinct that gives us the power of knowing when we really love someone whom we've never spoken to? Is there a synced heart rhythm that beats so spectacularly that lets a person know when he/she should give their heart to that someone that will either mend it or crush and shatter it ? 

I believe that this magical, heart-wrenching bond does exist! And you know why? Because Allah exists. My faith and belief in Him doesn't allow me to think of these feelings and thoughts as coincidence. Allah doesn't design and create things for us to believe in luck and coincidence! He designs everything with accuracy that can't be easily comprehended by the structure of our brains. So those feelings are true. True love is existent. There is a synched heart rhythm by couples all over the world; even between those  whom  yet to talk and get to know each other. 

But how can heartbreak be a realistic consequence out of true love ? How can hate evolve from love?

The irony of dichotomies is what I am intrigued by all the time. And it is an outcome that is existent when we forget about the creator of the beautiful things in life. When we get so caught up that we start following our own mind's reckless guidance and ignore his obligations and commandments. We are his slaves and when we submit to him fully, he can bestow upon us unfathomable blessings. But when we forget that it is only He who can bless us with such graciousness that we can get it taken away in a blink of an eye. 

So yes I believe in true love and an eternal happy ever after, but only under diligent obedience to the One who can give it to us in ways we can't even dream about 

Words_of_my_heart

• I've been indulging in the enchantment of abstracts I once thought were only found in novels and fairy tales. 

Life!! CONTINUED...

But, what is thriving? What's success?

How do I come out all polished and clean out of a dirty mess ?

I hold back a river of tears

That have been forming for years!

But then I ask: why should I? 

I start to sob. I start to cry.

Holding on to faith isn't as easy as uttering words.

But I hold on tightly to it no matter how much it hurts !

Because in the end, nothing lasts forever,

And it's what'll  make me smile after this heart-wrenching endeavor.

What I pray will lead me to paradise;

Where I'll eternally settle and have nothing to despise. 

كم أحقد على الكذب و النفاق و الرياء         كم أكره سوء التفاهم و الكبرياء

 

أكاد لا  أتحمل قلة النضج و عدم المساواة     أرتجف بداخلي على حبٍ ضاع كالهباء    

كم أعشق الذكاء و اللطف                      حب هائل في داخلي للصدف

التي تجمع بيني و بين هؤلاء                  اللذين يضمدون جروحي

و أرواحهم  تعشق روحي                      هم لقلبي كالدواء

 

الفتور

 

صار قلبي كقطعة من الجليد 

بارد و جامد و صلب كالحديد 

ذات يوم انكسر 

و لم يعد إلى طبيعته؛

اصبح شيئا جديد 

لا يفرح و لا يحزن 

مسح المشاعر لانه لا يريد 

أن ينكسر و يتحطم مرة أخرى; 

ذاك الألم كان شديد

ربما يأتي يوم و ينصهر 

و يفرح و يحزن و يطلب المزيد

و لكن علم الغيب عند الله؛ 

خالق الكون ،الجبار المجيد .

Mr.Perfect

He is tall. I am not just calling him that due to my lack of height, which makes me call anyone with an average height "tall," but because he really is tall. To be precise, he's a foot and a few inches taller than me. When I look up to admire his flawless complexion, I can't help but be astonished by his manly beard, which he never shaves- he only trims it! It perfectly suits his face. His eyes aren't one bold color, but many mixed together rendering a light hue I've never seen before. They sparkle. His eyes don't tell lies, and that's why they're so special to me. His smile is what I like to call my "melting point," because I feel myself changing into another state when his perfect set of teeth peak out. Then, I think about the possibility of his dentist being a beautiful female, and I get enviously jealous! I melt, and at other times, I sublime! 

He doesn't know about my existence; or maybe he does, but that doesn't matter to me. All that matters in my bubbled up world,which he knows just how to puncture, is that I know of his. 

He is smart: all the kinds of intelligence I have come to know is found in his brain. He is book-smart! I've seen him hold many books in his masculine 

 hands. I managed to read some of their titles. If I got a hold of one of those books he was intriguingly reading, I would free my time to read them too so we can have something in common. He is socially smart too! If he wasn't, why would all those people huddle around him all the time to hear what he had to utter? Moreover, humor is a manifestation of intelligence; and he possesses the sense of humor I liked best. That's what I ended up knowing after utilizing my online-stalking skills....

From the looks of it, he's pious! Oh, how much I love piety! He's not a stuck-up, conceited person due to his utmost devotion to his lord; he is humble as a consequence. I've heard him telling a colleague about how obeying Allah will always have you reaping rewards you forgot you even sowed! 

He has a hoarse voice, but I like it! If I heard it, that meant he was around. 

I am infatuated with him. I know it! I just don't see a reason for denying it. There's a magical feeling about infatuation. I am also obsessed with him. I know I am, so I try to control my obsession before I end up with a restraining order. Maybe it's lust or maybe it's true love! But I don't care what people before me have called it or what I'm about to call it, because a name on "this thing" I got hovering over me wherever I go is not going to change a thing. 

Furthermore, I don't try to get his attention because I know if he's written for me, he'll be mine without me begging for it-one way or another! 

I pray to Allah for him. And I talk to our creator about him. That's the only act I'm capable of doing that makes my impatient soul calm. 

-Calmness; I can't bear it when he speaks so coherently in his appealing accent! I can't help but eavesdrop because all I want is to know him! 

When I'm alone, I sing love songs that magically describe all the feelings surging within my fragile heart! 

I don't question any of "this", I just let it happen. That's what I learnt. It will bring pain as much as it brings happiness! But, that's perfectly fine with me. I'm not scared. I am ready for whatever "this" might bring. 

At least that's what I told myself before that day.  

That day was full of sunshine. It was beautiful. It was a day for beginnings. I was walking and that familiar hoarse voice was calling out my name. I scrutinized myself for letting myself get carried away with "this thing" that I started hallucinating scenarios that just couldn't be real. But it was real! That was my reality,then. He was really saying my name! I turned around and he was holding my ID card! "This belongs to you?" was his innocent question. "Yeah, thanks!"was my answer. And I prayed and prayed with a huge smile that this was the commencement of what I wanted "this thing" to be! 

.....

A Letter

Dear Child, 

       I have already picked out some names I'd ,potentially, like to call you, but time will tell if the love I have for those names will remain or not. Or, whether your father is going to approve of them or not. Maybe he has already set up a list of his favorite names he considers as appropriate potential calls for his offspring. Speaking of names, I don't even know of his! Hence, I'm currently mad at him!

You're going to be me in an alternative reality; the "me" I never thought would exist coupled with the "me" I've always wanted to! 

I'm writing this to you, my dear while not knowing how you're going to look or how many of you will be running around the house someday. Maybe you'll be a set of twins or triplets. Or each of you will arrive at a special interval! 

Anyhow, as your future mother, this letter will incorporate everything I want to tell you. 

Firstly, I hope I'll be there with tears of joy rolling down my cheeks as I hear your first cry. Then, you'll do a whole lot of crying and I'll tolerate it because it's yours. If Allah wills, I'll squeal with utter enchantment when you start crawling! And I'll clap at your first steps. I will admire your face as I notice each new tooth making itself prominent! Even before you start speaking, I will speak to you about all sorts of topics. I'll carry you and put you to sleep with a lullaby of my own composition. 

The years will go by just like that. You will grow up. If I am still there to perceive your upbringing, I'll thank and praise our lord because you are a blessing. 

You will have many first days. I'll document them! Your first days of school, college, and job! I'll give my parental guidance without your solicitation. As long as I'm there, I'll advice you on what to wear, say, and how to act. However,I'll try to give you your freedom and not be clingy. I'll pray for you; I already do. 

I don't know what Allah has written for you. Nonetheless, if you become successful and popular, be humble because arrogance and being conceited will do more harm than they'll ever do good- in this life and the eternal one. Remember Allah always, and He will remember you: a promise He made! If you don't get the luxury of financial stability, the only thing I want you begging for is a job to earn a living! Do your most begging to Allah, for humans are not to be begged! As a final point, strive for your success in this life, but do so too for your other one. 

Live. Love. Laugh. Learn. 

I will love you regardless. Pray for me whenever you can because I need your prayers as much as you need mine. And pray for your father and loved ones as well- it's the best gift you'll be capable of offering. 

As a final point, I hope I'll be good to you and you to me and this world.  

                        Sincerely, 

                        YOUR MOM     

                          

 

Fairytales

I wonder: why is it that when we were little girls, they'd read us fairy tales with one common theme? That common theme being a girl with an undeniable tragic life only gets to experience happiness when the Prince Charming comes to rescue. Why did he have to be a prince who's charming? Why couldn't just one fairy tale narrate a love story of a girl being saved by doctor or a lawyer. Wait, why is the female always the victim? Why does her savior must always be a man?

I don't want to sound like an irrational feminist, but lets be a little realistic for the sake of growing up young ladies who shouldn't aspire to an imaginary Prince Charming who's most likely not going to show up with his white horse. 

First things first, there's no denying that a young woman will have hovering thoughts about how is the love of her life going to look like and whether his looks truly resemble his inner-self or not! However, that shouldn't be the one and most prominent thought. There should be other compartments of a young lady's brain filled with things that only cling to her. 

Who are you? What do you want to be? Who do you want to be? What's your interests? What makes you happy? Really, what makes you smile, laugh, and rejoice? 

I'm sure every woman has her priorities, but the challenge lies in whether she can outflank society's definition of a woman's priorities to achieve her desired destiny.

I don't want to sound like those people who have lost all hope at living a love story, because I'm not one of those people and I don't plan on being one no matter what I go through. My thought being: a love story should be a part of your story. Not the end or beginning of it. Not a single person in this world is going to come and change your life drastically for better or worse, only you can do that to yourself. So learn about yourself,love yourself, and treat your self right and with respect. Only then, will Allah allow there to be people in your life who will add sprinkles to your already glazed donut. Find happiness through faith, prayer, and hard work. Be a little intuitional. Dare to daydream. Dare to imagine and make up illusions. But, don't you dare forget about reality! 

Drained

I feel exhausted 

Totally worn out. 

Like a paper that has been scribbled about 

Erased then written over then erased again 

What am I doing?Where have I been? 

I've been wandering all over:

Finding out about life and its entities  

Found my myself already lost 

Only in the beginning of my twenties 

I ask questions 

And answers, I do get! 

Then, I feel that light bulb spontaneously  lit

I noticed that I've changed, yet I'm still the same old me 

I'm like a little child restricted from their favorite candy! 

Some days go by 

And others, oh, they drag 

Sometimes I race to the finish line 

And usually I lag 

Behind because I'm just so done 

And I don't see what's the point; where's the pleasure? How is this fun? 

Oh, but I pray and pray to my lord 

To Him, I've poured 

My heart out 

And in Him, I don't have the slightest doubt. 

So I feel good again. 

When I realize what I'm capable of doing, and how I got to where I am 

from where I've been :)